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There are 2 people walking down the street. One is a musician. The other doesn't have any money either.
Why can't little girls fart? They dont have arseholes until they get married.
Whats a mans idea of helping to make the bed? Getting out of it.
What can a bird do that a man can't? Whistle through its pecker.
A young boy is in his room playing with himself when his mother comes in and catches him.
If you keep doing that you will go blind! she yells
The boy replies: Well can I keep doing it until I need glasses?
An angry wife met her husband at the door. There was alcohol on his breath and lipstick on his collar. 'I assume,' she snarled, 'that there is a very good reason for you to come waltzing in here at 6 o'cloke in the morning ?'
'There is,' he replied. 'Breakfast.'
What do you get when you cross a parrot with a centipede?
A walkie-talkie
What is green and smells of bacon?
Kermit's finger.
Dave came home to find a tatal stranger in bed with Mabel. So he rushed outside and grabbed his shotgun.
'It's all right , it's all right ,'said the stranger. 'I'm a docter, I'm a docter! And I've been taking Mabel's temperature.'
Dave pulled back the hammer on the shotgun. 'Well, you better have numbers on that thing when you take it out.'
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